Signs of Global Recession

Disclaimer – I did not write this but whoever did is an absolute genius! It’s so funny. It truly broughy sunshine into my day for the moment!

I found it on Facebook last night.  If anybody knows who wrote it or where it comes from – please let me know so I can give credit. (You don’t have to be South African to appreciate it – but it helps.)

My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

The Guptas laid off 25 Parliamentarians.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your cheque marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Sandton fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her.

A truckload of South Africans was caught sneaking into Zimbabwe.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally…

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

 

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